Finally worry 3

Dieting. I have struggled with my weight all my life. I find it hard to talk about in here though I said when I started blogging that I would be honest and not hold back. So here goes.

Last year I tried Lighterlife. For those who don't know it is a meal replacement plan of shakes. I know this seems very extreme to most but it worked for me and I lost 4 st in 14 weeks. I am really a all or nothing gal if I'm given options I will cheat or eat too much so this was ideal for me.

Anyway my dilemma is that I'm still not happy with my weight I really want to lose some more. I have tried several times since to continue and every time I do I fail. I can't get past carb withdrawal. So I then tried slimming world and that has failed too because I am not varied enough in my diet and I can't eat the amount of fruit and veg they want.

So I'm back to being really unhappy with myself and I'm thinking of giving the shakes another go. Maybe if I just think week by week ... Just get through this week of shakes.
We shall see .. Anyway ty for listening to me xxx

Worry 2

My next worry is my portfolio that needs to be in for Friday. It shouldn't be a big worry really but I feel so far behind. I am far behind. Though it's not my fault that I am becUse my 1st placement fell through as the university felt it was unsuitable so I had to wait fir another placement to be sorted out. However because of thd issues my 40 day placement started April 1st and I'm still going !! Everyone else finished a month ago so they are all online saying how great it is that they have passed year 1 and I haven't - yet !

I like to be in control, I like to be 'up there' I have been a top student all year and yet I still haven't finished the first year.

Anyway

A million thoughts an hour !

I've been up since 4am. I hate it when I wake because of pain and then can't get back to sleep because my mind starts racing about things. I have 3 main things on my mind each with their own blog

Firstly, it's my brothers 40th birthday today. I have sent a present and card but my worry is that I need to call him later to wish him a happy birthday. My brother and I have never been close no matter how much I've tried so I keep saying in my head to give up - but I can't. I have tried to contact him quite a few times in the past few months but I've heard nothing. I contacted his wife, we chatted about the kids, when I discussed David she stopped replying to email. I've ask my parents, they have no clue what's wrong and tell me I'm worrying about nothing. It isn't nothing. My worry today is how do I speak to him on the phone today without mentioning it and risking an argument ? Oh I forgot to say he also deleted me from facebook I've resent friend requests several times but never been accepted. It's just odd ! We haven't fallen out - to my knowledge ! Hmm I don't know

Next !

5am and all is well !

Here I am at 5am lying in bed on a Sunday morning watching family guy. This always happens when I've had a drink, not that I drink very often probably about 2 or 3 times a year. I just know I'm going to feel knackered later ah well least it's Sunday!

So I went to a BBQ yesterday just round the corner from our house. It was nice though I didn't really know that many there and Mr Vixxy couldn't stay as he had to go to work ( I'm getting really fedup of this 'shutdown') so after a full bottle of wine ( not sure if I drank it all to myself ) I thought it best I went hone before I started talking crap and making an ass of myself.

I really believe that my phone or any form of communicating anyone else should be removed from me when drunk but as noone was there to do that off I went tweeting & live profiling nothing too shameful but still enough to give the morning after 'what did I do' flashbacks. Anyway that's probably me sober till Christmas anyway so nevermind.

Well I ll sign off for now .. Wish I had more exciting things to blog about !

National Potter Day

Well its been a long week for me this week. Still on placement (will this ever end !)but had to take ahalf day yesterday and today cause of my back/legs/bum/ all of the above !!! I have sciatica and it affects all of those areas all at different times and on a bad day all the same time.  Ive had it for about 10 years but has progressively got worse over the last 2yrs.  Anyway I was due to go for a MRI tomorrow to see whats going on and whether they can operate but the MRI people called today to say the scanner is broken so has to be rescheduled.  Ah well !

Anyway in the up side we went to see Harry Potter 7 today, I wont spoil it for you all but it was fab and a credit to the book, want to see it again. NOW !

I have a BBQ to look forward to tomorrow though apparently the weather is set to change tonight ... shame nothing worse than a soggy sausage ! However the drink or 2 will go down a treat I think though bewareof drunken tweets Im deadly let loose on the population tipsy !

Anyway thats about it for now ! Toodles xx

Ramblings and such ... Part 2

Where was I .. Oh yes so much uni work but on the plus side I've been told Im on for a first which is fab ! Hopefully 2nd placement starting September will be a great one fingers crossed !
Anyway lastly for now I have found some great people on twitter, funny when I first tried it I hated it and now I don't know what I'd do without it or them. It took a while to get into but I love it ! I've even been tweeted by Al Murray and Rufus Hound Nd followed by Emilio Estevas (can't spell)

So anyway I shall tweet if peeps are interested in my life and will try to be funny and interesting ( don't hold your breath)

Speak soon !

Vix

Ramblings and such ... Part 1

So here I am sat well lay down really in bed at 0.20 I've tried to sleep but no luck. So here I am blogging again. I have always wanted to be one of those people that blog though I'm not sure if A, anyone will be interested or B, I will be bothered to blog often but I hope I do.

My life is a bit all over the place at the min, I am finally getting to the end of my placement thank goodness it seems to have gone on for ages if I'm honest and has actually dampened my career choice. So maybe I'm feeling a little deflated by that. I also have quite a few friend in need of comfort and a shoulder so I have been trying to be a good friend and spread myself out between them. I enjoy being there for the
But sometimes it can be draining listening to the same stories again and again without seeming bored. What maybe of no importance to me is great importance to them. Maybe thTs why I'm not myself. I'm not the weight I want to be, I know people are so nice and tell me I'm lovely the way I am but for me it's not enough, yet I cant seem to stick to my diet ! I'm my own worst enemy.

I have so much uni work to finish in the next 2 weeks to finish the year however I have been told that